Public speaking used to be a source of distress for me. And it still is sometimes. Entering high school, public speaking unnerved me, and I would have ideally avoided it all together. However, my mentality that fears and nerves are stupid got in the way of my stressful thoughts about public speaking. On top of my refusal to let my nerves get in the way of my success, most of the careers I began to be interested in involved an aspect of extensive public speaking, and I knew I needed to get over myself and increase my confidence and ease in front of large crowds. I knew that I had a natal poise when speaking, but my nerves would be a source of weakness leading to verbal fillers and nervous antics such as touching my hair or not knowing what to do with my hands. So, what better way than to simply immerse myself in a series of high stress public speaking opportunities, right?
Aside from short speeches in english classes, my first real experience public speaking came with my involvement with my high school mock trial team. I was entranced by the work behind a case study and developing case theory as well as character in witnesses as a tactic to respond to heavy cross-examination. The legal field was one that always interested me, and so my involvement came naturally. However, I was essentially unaware of the stresses and pressure that would come in the form of public speaking. My first trial was certainly not a smooth introduction to public speaking or the court systems to say the least. I had not expected any part of it: the formality, the real judge, the real jury comprised of established lawyers, and ruthless prosecution lawyers from other teams that questioned me to the point where I just wanted to go back to my seat and never do it again. But I kept doing it. And I kept getting better, and loving it more and more. I developed a poise and an on the spot wittiness that is crucial to be successful in mock trial and in the real legal system. It took time to develop a level of comfort expressing myself in front of a room full of people, but I kept with it until I was less shaky and more exhilarated. After that first trial, I never would have thought I would have the skills to be a member of the Penn State Mock Trial Team, but I am continuing my public speaking skills and knowledge of case law through that opportunity now as well.
Another public speaking and performance experience I have had in the past was involvement with theatre. I have always had a love for the arts and vocal music, but my stage-fright and nerves kept me from auditioning my first 2 years of high school because I did not want to have to act or sing in front of anyone. However, my sophomore year I decided that fear should not hold you back from anything you want to do, and I landed a role in my school's production of Beauty and the Beast. I was nervous beyond belief to perform on opening night in front of hundreds of people, but that night changed everything. I fell in love with performing and continued in multiple benefits and the musical the next years as well. If i had not put myself out there, I might still be uncomfortable in front of crowds and might still be denying myself the involvement in music and acting, something I am passionate about.
Along with these opportunities which have expanded my comfort and public speaking skills in high stress situations, I have also had the opportunity to speak in front of my school on numerous occasions. While always being a member of my very involved student government at my high school, I took on a leadership role my senior year which required that I speak frequently in front of my school and faculty, as well as reaching out to community members in numerous circumstances as well. My AP english class always merited frequent public speaking. My strengths include eye contact and good voice control and inflection, while my weaknesses would be nervous antics such as touching my hair and a few verbal fillers. I'm aware of my weaknesses and attempt to reconcile them simply through repetition and practice, and I hope to continue this growth in my RCL class.
